WHY I WROTE THIS STORY

A personal reflection on the origins of The Conductor’s Game

For months, I’ve been sharing pieces of my writing journey—the behind-the-scenes process of working with editors, the book cover reveal, and how this entire project has slowly taken shape. But today, I want to go a little deeper and talk about the question people ask me most often:

Why did you write this story?

It’s a simple question with a complicated answer, one that stretches across years, memories, and the quiet spaces where ideas choose us long before we choose them.

The First Flicker

The earliest spark for The Conductor’s Game didn’t feel like a decision. It felt like a knock on a door I didn’t even know existed.

Eight years ago, during a meditation session, I slipped into that rare stillness where the mind softens enough to let something new in. And in that moment, images appeared—uninvited, vivid, insistent. A girl. A train. A mysterious traveler. A world humming with unseen connections.

It wasn’t a plot yet. It wasn’t even a story.

It was a feeling.

A sense that something—or someone—was trying to get my attention.

When I opened my eyes, I wrote down everything I could remember. Half a story lived in those notes, like a constellation of ideas waiting for the lines to be drawn between them. I didn’t know where it would take me, only that I couldn’t ignore it.

A Story That Grew Up With Me

I didn’t sit down intending to write a novel. I certainly didn’t imagine spending nearly a decade on one. But stories have their own timing.

Some years, the words poured out of me in a rush. Other years, the manuscript gathered digital dust while I worked, built my photography business, and tried to navigate the chaos and beauty of starting a family.

And through all of that, the story quietly grew—shifting, reshaping, deepening as I changed too.

What started as a spark became a companion. Something I carried with me, even when I wasn’t writing.

The Question Beneath Everything

Every story has its heartbeat—its central question.
For The Conductor’s Game, mine was this:

What if the connections we think are coincidences are actually something more?

I’m endlessly fascinated by the invisible threads that tie people together—timing, intuition, déjà vu, the moments that don’t make sense until much later. Photography taught me to look for these moments visually; writing taught me to explore them emotionally.

This book became a way of investigating that feeling we all get at some point in our lives:

I was meant to meet this person.
I was meant to be here at this moment.
Something is guiding this.

Whether that “something” is fate, intuition, magic, or the quiet architecture of our choices… that’s what I wanted to explore.

A Story for My Children

When my twins were born, everything shifted.

Suddenly, finishing the book wasn’t just about me. It was about them. About showing them the importance of following a creative spark wherever it leads—even if the path is strange, nonlinear, or daunting.

In the sleepless nights, with a baby in each arm, the ending finally clicked into place. Not because I forced it, but because becoming a mother changed the way I saw the story.

It helped me understand what this book has always been about:

Connection.
Courage.
And the strange, beautiful ways our lives intersect.

What This Story Means to Me Now

When I ask myself why I wrote The Conductor’s Game, the answer is this:

Because it kept calling me.
Because it helped me grow.
Because it showed me parts of myself I didn’t know were waiting.
Because stories choose their writers, not the other way around.

And because somewhere deep down, I knew I wasn’t writing it just for me.

Where We Go From Here

With the manuscript complete and developmental edits underway, I’m finally preparing to step into the publishing world.

But I want to bring you along with me.

In the weeks ahead, I’ll be sharing:

✨ snippets of the world inside the book
✨ the inspirations behind key scenes
✨ what I’ve learned about creating art while raising twins
✨ and more of the messy, wonderful reality of shaping a story over eight years

Thank you for being here—for reading, for supporting, for walking beside me as The Conductor’s Game moves from imagination to reality.

I can’t wait to show you what comes next.